As I wandered outside late this evening for the last potty
time with the dog, my eyes ventured upwards.
Not only did I see the stars far up in the distant sky, but there were
two lightning bugs blinking in the still calm.
I immediately turned back to my childhood, when my Granny would hand me
empty jars she had stock piled for balmy summer nights just as this to capture
the mysterious bright bugs. And, as my
mind tends to be a bit more philosophical now that I am older, I immediately
realized what a bright shining light those two little bugs were in the deep
darkness of a midnight drift outside. My
thoughts spanned back in time – through the hurdles, through the joys, through
the last few days and the last few years.
How many times did I feel lost in the blackness of life when a
difficulty came my way. Had I only
looked up and seen the blinking of a bug, emanating it’s light for all to see –
would that light have made a difference?
As I stood there wishing that every moment could have a guiding light such
as that from the glow bugs, I realized that within me – within each of us –
there already exists a natural glow. I
believe we are drawn to the lightning bug because it simply reflects the
strength we already have inside.
Bottling the bug as so many of us did in times of old will only reaffirm
what we already know to be true. That we
are a light, we do shine, and each of us can light up the night if we so
choose.
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Living with Integrity (and Laughter!)
Ahhh, you think I'd be used to this single mom thing by now. But, I have
found every day is different, and each dawn comes with its own challenges. A
wise woman once told me the best I can do is to live each day with
integrity. For me, it’s not living with
integrity – it’s surviving with integrity.
And a survivor I am. As my
journey is revealed throughout these blog posts, it is my hope that my words
may speak and come alive for another.
I am one, but I no longer stand alone. I know that now, but for many years I thought just the opposite. One in four women throughout their lifetime will personally experience or be exposed to some degree of domestic abuse. Feelings of isolation and seclusion were prominent; living with an abusive man can be a very solitary existence. Masters of control and manipulation, they are very adept at pulling you away from every comfort you once knew – including your own self-confidence.
Many who have witnessed or experienced abuse do not speak up, fearful of what may happen if they do. Because of this understandable fear, the statistics on abused women are not concrete, and many court systems as well as counselors underestimate the unyielding power an abusive man holds. In turn, many therapists, judges, and law enforcement officials often do not give the abused the help they so desperately need in times of crises. I know all this not only because I have been down that muddled path, but because I have learned through self instruction and through counseling with a local crises center the tools and education I need to move on, and to move up.
Some days this blog will be about my struggle or my survival, some about my past or educational tools for the future. Others will be about the mundane and sometimes overwhelming day to day tasks a single mother faces, or even just the silliness of having a twelve year old, a nine month old, two cats, and a fifteen year old blind, deaf dog – all in the same household - with only one woman coordinating it all. (To confirm the silliness – I must share with you the afternoon the rice fell off the top shelf of the pantry, scattering all over the floor, right after we came out of hiding in the closet from a tornado warning with the electricity being out. This was shortly followed by my oldest son dropping a can of root beer which subsequently exploded all over the tile. In the midst of it all, the poor old blind, deaf dog piddled on the kitchen floor in the confusion. True story. I kid you not. Welcome to my world!) I do not want my journey to only be about the heavy or the oppressive, because there is so much more to it than that. There IS joy, and there IS hope, and I want to convey that. And when it is all said and done, the dry rice on the floor which is absorbing the root beer in the dark which is being spread around by the dog wandering around really is funny, if you stop and think about it.
If you are reading this and are in an abusive relationship yourself, please use caution if you are using your home computer. An abuser will check your activity, whether it be via phone records, computer history, or travel itineraries. Make sure at the least to clear your computer’s history, cache, and cookies, and for your own safety, use a public computer or go to a trusted friend or family member for the use of their PC. Many cities have crises centers for domestic abuse; if you are ready to seek help please utilize the wonderful resources they offer, or go to a trusted friend or family member to have them help you institute your safety plan as leaving an abuser can be a potentially dangerous situation.
I am one, but I no longer stand alone. I know that now, but for many years I thought just the opposite. One in four women throughout their lifetime will personally experience or be exposed to some degree of domestic abuse. Feelings of isolation and seclusion were prominent; living with an abusive man can be a very solitary existence. Masters of control and manipulation, they are very adept at pulling you away from every comfort you once knew – including your own self-confidence.
Many who have witnessed or experienced abuse do not speak up, fearful of what may happen if they do. Because of this understandable fear, the statistics on abused women are not concrete, and many court systems as well as counselors underestimate the unyielding power an abusive man holds. In turn, many therapists, judges, and law enforcement officials often do not give the abused the help they so desperately need in times of crises. I know all this not only because I have been down that muddled path, but because I have learned through self instruction and through counseling with a local crises center the tools and education I need to move on, and to move up.
Some days this blog will be about my struggle or my survival, some about my past or educational tools for the future. Others will be about the mundane and sometimes overwhelming day to day tasks a single mother faces, or even just the silliness of having a twelve year old, a nine month old, two cats, and a fifteen year old blind, deaf dog – all in the same household - with only one woman coordinating it all. (To confirm the silliness – I must share with you the afternoon the rice fell off the top shelf of the pantry, scattering all over the floor, right after we came out of hiding in the closet from a tornado warning with the electricity being out. This was shortly followed by my oldest son dropping a can of root beer which subsequently exploded all over the tile. In the midst of it all, the poor old blind, deaf dog piddled on the kitchen floor in the confusion. True story. I kid you not. Welcome to my world!) I do not want my journey to only be about the heavy or the oppressive, because there is so much more to it than that. There IS joy, and there IS hope, and I want to convey that. And when it is all said and done, the dry rice on the floor which is absorbing the root beer in the dark which is being spread around by the dog wandering around really is funny, if you stop and think about it.
If you are reading this and are in an abusive relationship yourself, please use caution if you are using your home computer. An abuser will check your activity, whether it be via phone records, computer history, or travel itineraries. Make sure at the least to clear your computer’s history, cache, and cookies, and for your own safety, use a public computer or go to a trusted friend or family member for the use of their PC. Many cities have crises centers for domestic abuse; if you are ready to seek help please utilize the wonderful resources they offer, or go to a trusted friend or family member to have them help you institute your safety plan as leaving an abuser can be a potentially dangerous situation.
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